I Miss Being a Stay at Home Dad

Back in December of 2012, my daughter was born and I became a stay at home dad. I took care of my daughter full time for 8 months, and then I started getting some part time work. For the next 11 months, I was a part time stay at home dad. Some weeks I would be working full time, other weeks I would not work at all. But back in June of 2014, I got a full time job. After a couple months at my new job, there are some things that I enjoy about working full time again, and other things that make me really miss being a stay at home dad.

I really enjoy the security of a full time job. I like getting vacation time, sick time, and benefits. It is nice to have a company invest in me. I will get some professional training, and memberships to professional organizations, and the company contributes to my 401k. Also, I get to use my degree, and I am dealing with adults.

"Johnson! Get that Weems report in here PRONTO!"

“Johnson! Get that Weems report in here PRONTO!”

Another bonus is that I no longer have to fill out unemployment forms. I really didn’t like taking government assistance, but I couldn’t let my family suffer either. I like earning money so that we can do things, like pay bills, and have food. The new job gives me the security that I know I will be able to pay my mortgage, my car payment, and keep my credit cards paid off. That is a huge weight off my shoulders.

However, now that I am working, there are lots of changes in my life. This blog, for one, has suffered. I haven’t had much time to sit and write blog posts, nor have I been able to keep up on social media. It is bad for me to be on Facebook at work. Also, with Dashing Son’s swim practices and some backyard remodeling, I haven’t had much time.

I am still training for a marathon, and I am getting in my training runs. Before, I would leave around 7:30am (or maybe 10am), with the baby in her stroller.

The Dashing Daughter last summer on our runs.

The Dashing Daughter last summer on our runs.

Now I have to get up at 4:30am to get my run in. I learned early on that you don’t wake up a sleeping baby before you absolutely have to, so I don’t take her anymore.

Now I have to wake up at 4:30am to get my runs done

Now I have to wake up at 4:30am to get my runs done

Speaking of running, since I am working in an office with people, I need to shower daily, so I don’t stink. Before, I would just shower on run days, or if I was going to actually go out to somewhere other than the grocery store. I also shave every day, which I hate doing. I used to shave every other day, or every third day. Also, the people I work with dress nice, so I can’t hang out in my running shorts all day. I actually have to put on a shirt in the morning, not 5 minutes before the Dashing Wife came home at the end of the day.

I also don’t get to see my baby girl that much anymore. I used to spend all week, or at least a couple of days a week with just her and me. Now, she is so addicted to her mother, she goes through withdrawals whenever they are separated by more than 10 feet. If I pick her up, it is like I covered my hands in broken glass and then dipped them in acid. Okay, it isn’t quite that bad, and I can usually get her to giggle and laugh, but somedays it is really tough.

Lastly, making dinner is such a pain in the butt now. Before, I had all day to make meals. True, I would usually throw something together in the 30 minutes before the Dashing Wife got home, but now that we both get home around the same time, (she actually has been getting home before me most days), that thirty minutes with the kids is more important to spend with our kids. So, we have been doing some crockpot meals (ones that can handle cooking for 9+ hours), and cooking large meals on the weekend, so we have leftovers. Another trick we have done was to make something after the kids have gone to bed, and just reheat it the next day (like the black bean burritos recipe). We still eat healthy, and haven’t been doing any more fast food meals than we used to. However, the steam in the bag microwave veggies are more common, as are some of the Costco pre-made stuff.

Black Bean Burritos and an adult beverage

Black Bean Burritos and an adult beverage

Along the lines of eating, I have to make my lunch to bring to work. Yeah, it isn’t that big of a deal, I make a sandwich in the morning (or the night before), toss in some carrots, fruit, and a yogurt, and I have a healthy lunch. Before I had a job, I could make whatever I wanted for lunch, and while my office has a decent kitchen, it just isn’t the same.

All in all, I like my job, and I like the perks that the job comes with. But now that I am on the other side of the fence, the grass isn’t all that much greener. However, with a job, I know that I can keep my grass, my house, my stuff, and not have to pawn my spleen to the black market to make my mortgage payment.

I also just bought some new Hoka One One Stinson Trial shoes because the ones I bought in March are almost worn out.

One thought on “I Miss Being a Stay at Home Dad

  1. Although I was never technically a stay-at-home dad for a long time I worked weekends to be home on weekdays to tend to him. Next week he will start pre-k and I will be back to a more traditional schedule. My wife and I will see more of each other but I will always look back fondly on the relationship the boy and I developed during our one on one time together.

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